"Shadow Work" Heresy

A lot of us witches talk a lot about "shadow work" all the time. What that means varies widely from person to person - but essentially this is the work that each of us does to come to terms with our "shadow" selves - the parts of ourselves that live in the shadows. And, whenever we commit ourselves to a spiritual path we find that we come up against this work pretty early on, and that it takes a very long time to work it through. I would say that indeed, we spend the rest of our lives doing this work.

At the risk of ruffling some feathers, I would also say that I have noticed that some of us really end up having a love affair with our "shadow work" - and that because of this we may be missing out on our ability to know our "light" self - the part of ourselves that lives in the light. I speak from experience.

I myself have spent years working on my shadow self. When I say working, what I am saying is that I have taken the time to identify aspects of myself that lie deep under the surface - aspects which contribute to decisions that I make and attitudes and opinions that I have and ways in which I engage with the world - and by and large ways that lead to poor decisions or less than admirable ways in which I view and engage with the world. And, once I have identified these aspects of myself and seen the repercussions that they have on my world - I have sought to change these mechanisms so that they are less destructive.

All good and well - but what happens if that is the only work that I ever do, on a spiritual level? Or even worse, what if I identify aspects of my shadow self, but don't do any of the work to evolve, and so I never realize that I am NOT actually changing anything at all - and in fact sort of give myself tacit approval to stay the way I am? Or, what about the fact that a lot of this shadow stuff actually serves as a source of power for me - that I have developed a lot of this over the long haul as survival mechanisms and that as such they have served me well in a number of instances, and that they will continue to do so if I so choose?

What I have discovered in my own spiritual journey is that in fact it is VERY difficult for me to even imagine what my "light" self might look like - and even harder for me to embrace that work because of it. Those of us who are in love with our shadow work love the dark goddesses too - and we have a sort of disdain for the "fluffy bunny" goddesses of the light. Don't get me wrong, the dark goddesses are the bomb, and I have loving and wonderful relationships with more than one of them - and most certainly they get shit done! Most of the fundamental changes that have occurred in me and in my life have been due to the help of these powerful deities, and I respectfully give them their due - always.

That being said, I know for myself that I have short-changed some of the more benevolent and healing and nurturing of the goddesses - and I am coming to realize that this is now where my own path is leading me to be. Of course, I am also becoming a healer - so it sort of makes perfect sense that I would be drawn to these types of archetypes and that I would be led to work with them as well.

I guess I am just beginning to wonder more about the emphasis that we as witches have on our darker selves and how that impacts the world around us. Studying the concept of Yin/Yang has shown me that everything requires balance to be healthy - too much of either one of them leads to illness - and that Yin/Yang applies to absolutely every thing there is in this world. And our current world is ill - seriously and perhaps mortally ill.

For myself, I will be spending more time with the heretical concept of "light work" - which really is the flip side of the same coin, if you think about it. I mean, what are the parts of myself that are not hidden, the "light" aspects which contribute to decisions that I make and attitudes and opinions that I have and ways in which I engage with the world? What about these parts of myself need to be changed - or perhaps need to be brought forward with more prevalence? These parts of myself are as yet totally foreign to me, and there are no easy answers here - just more of my work along my spiritual journey. Which, when it all comes down to the rubber hitting the road, is the reason we are all here to begin with, isn't it?

Po

I really like the concept of the Po being associated with the moon-mother-animals. It seems to me that these archetypes make perfect sense in a spiritual practice like shamansim. The Earth as mother, and connection with animal archetypes is central to shamanic practice. And those of us closely attuned to the cycles of the moon have found shamanic work to be an integral piece of our spiritual work. Often this work involves exploration of our shadow selves, and the Po seem to be connected very directly with the otherworld, particularly that of the dead (Gui). Ancestor work, soul retrieval, power animals; all of these are the building blocks of shamanic study and practice.

Sometimes the shadow work involves healing around past traumas, and unresolved grief. Sometimes this work is the current work of grieving and letting go; obtaining closure before a loved one that one may have had a challenging relationship with passes on. Work with a power animal can lend support and clarity/understanding to these situations, and can show us a way through to the other side.

Additionally, I have found that sometimes the animal that one comes to meet as a power animal is a surprise - a very timid person may discover that their power animal is a tiger, for instance, or that a very gregarious person finds that their animal is a mouse....in each case, there are attributes that belong to that animal that a person may not realize they possess or perhaps that they need to come to possess. I have also found that as life goes on, and as people change, that often the animals that come to them change as well. Eventually there is a whole pantheon of creatures that are related to that person and their path in life.

Hun

I found myself more engaged with the idea of the Hun; especially its relation to dreams and the dream world. I have struggled on and off with the concept in Chinese medicine that vivid dreams is in some way indicative of pathology. I find it curious that TCM includes the life of the spirit, and yet concurrently considers a vital aspect of that spirit to be disease related. I mean, I do know that when I am ill or beginning to be ill, that my dreams are sometimes feverish and wild - and I would indeed consider them to be a symptom of my illness. And, I suppose that this is the context that TCM is referring to. However. I also have always had vivid and archetypal dreams which I feel are NOT in any way related to pathology; in my spiritual work I find that my subconscious and yes, sometimes forces beyond myself and of a spiritual nature speak to me in these dreams and that they give me guidance and support in my life. I have seldom, if ever, been mislead by one of these "teaching" dreams; but I wonder if they would be considered illness from a TCM perspective?

I like that there are three types of Hun: the vegetative, animal, and human. I recently had a question when studying herbal formulas, and we were discussing those formulas that treat the spirit. I wondered how this mechanism actually works, and perhaps the fact that plants do indeed have their own spirit begins to answer that question....

And when I was a girl and attending Catholic school, I can remember getting into an argument with one of the nuns in religion class when she told us that animals don't have a soul.....I told her that I was sure that they did, and that I wouldn't believe that just because they were animals they would not be allowed into heaven. Of course, I no longer believe in an actual heaven or hell, but I DO still believe that animals have souls. Apparently I was right.

Shen

Macciocia talks about how "when the two essences (of mother and father)unite, they form the mind". I had a question come up, when I read this, about how Chinese medicine views the idea of abortion (ethically speaking). In this country we have made a business out of contesting this practice, turning it into a moral battleground - and I suppose that in TCM as in Western medicine there has been a practice of addressing the issue strictly from a clinical perspective vs. a political/social one. But it does seem to be saying here that pretty much from conception a person is considered a person, at least from an intellect perspective. And as mentioned before, there really is no separation of spirit from the physical form in our medicine.

I was also taken by Qu Lifang and Mary Garvey talking about the heart-shen and how it governs the tongue; how speaking can relieve pressure on the heart and that talking with friends can be helpful when one is disturbed about something. I know that I myself feel a physical sense of relief and release of pressure in the chest/heart area when I am upset and have an opportunity to talk it out with close and trusted friends. There is not just an emotional release, but an actual physical one as well.

Additionally, Lori Dechar talks about how you know that your shen is disturbed if you feel anxiety or palpitations associated with events or people; I often feel anxiety and palpitations when studying for a big exam! Just the act of studying sometimes is made more difficult by this stress reaction, and I have found that often I need to do some Qi Gong or something to calm myself down so I can actually take the information in properly.

TCM theory and "spirit"

One of my favorite things about Chinese medicine is the way in which it allows for the concept of "spirit" and actually considers this aspect of our humanity to be an integral part of our health and well being. My own path in life has been heavily influenced by spirituality, and I have found that my experiences and beliefs have indeed been closely intertwined with my health and peace of mind.

I have also been interested in the fact that both Chinese medicine schools include in their curriculum training in Qi Gong and Tai Chi; and I have personally been delighted to discover Qi Gong and I have had it profoundly change my life; it has become an invaluable tool for me both as a spiritual practice and a healing modality. To me, these disciplines train one to incorporate the work of the spirit into their healing practice, and they also help one to begin to understand the Chinese medicine concept of spirit.

I also like the fact that spirit is broken down into different archetypes in Chinese medicine - and that each of these "aspects" of spirit address different organ systems, and different parts of our humanity. I feel that we are complicated beings, with many different sides and aspects ourselves; that we change and grow (or maybe not, LOL) and that all that is part of us is always there, sometimes coming to the surface and being acted out, and sometimes lying deep within, slumbering and waiting to be awakened. In all ways, these parts of ourselves affect our health (mental and physical), whether we are aware of them or not.

"Blink" - Chapter 3, The Warren Harding Error"

This was an interesting chapter, dealing with first impressions and how we are all unconsciously biased because of them. For instance, the author uses the example of how Warren Harding was essentially elected to President of the US, based mostly on the fact that he was good looking, and not at all on his ability or qualifications to run the country. As a result, he ended up being one of the worst US presidents, at least until Bush Jr. took over...

While the author's premise in this book is that we are all driven by our unconscious conditioning in our decision making processes, his solution to the conditioning of first impressions is to change the experiences which make up that impression.

"If you are a white person who would like to treat black people as equals in every way - who would like to have a set of associations with blacks that are as positive as those that you have with whites - it requires more than a simple commitment to equality. It requires that you change your life so that you are exposed to minorities on a regular basis and become comfortable with them and familiar with the best of their culture..."

I do feel that my own community has worked hard to address these types of conditionings, but I also feel that for some reason we have failed in the area of racial diversity. While we are all incredibly diverse in our representation of religious beliefs, gender roles, and political awareness - we still have a markedly low population of people of color. We do acknowledge that our tradition is primarily one of White European background, and perhaps this is in part an explanation. However, it has always seemed to me that there is some other mechanism at work - and I have been both puzzled and disturbed by this.

I do know that our rituals, for instance, are created with this White European bias as the foundation for how the ritual is crafted and executed. I also know that there is often resistance to change of any kind with respect to all of those elements which make up the flow of the ritual. One of the reasons for this resistance is simply the fact that these rituals have been done a certain way for many years and some members are really attached to the flow and any change at all is not welcome. But it has also been my experience to note that any suggestion of introducing something new to the flow of a ritual that may come from a tradition other than White European is also resisted, and I am not entirely convinced that the reason is simply one of change/newness. There have been other members of the community that have also noticed this bias, and have spoken up - often these are the same members that are people of color. And I have also noticed that this topic is often not met with the same open-mindedness that we normally apply when discussing matters of gender conditioning, religious differences, or political positions.

Just some observations here, food for thought.

It's been a long time

Since I posted last.

I actually have had a lot to say, but have obviously not said it here. :)

Re-committing to the process now, and will use this space to talk about the aspect of spirit, as it relates to Chinese medicine.

Where I go from there, who knows?